UnioNoMics 101

In high school I rolled with this crew of hard-core emcees named The Branch. The group was comprised of my friends from my neighborhood. We were all really serious about our craft (rhyming) and were basically offered free studio time at this spot around the way. After the crew started recording their first mixtape, I was kicked to the curb. (I didn’t completely fit their gangster style and my lyrics wasn’t good enough according to some members) At first I was distraught because I would be the only Branch member battling every little niggah in the high school who EVEN LOOKED at our squad wrong. How could they kick me out when I was THE MOST respected high school emcee in our three city radius at the time (that was a BIG look back in those day lol)

Moving on, before I was dropped, I linked up with these white emcees in my high school who kept getting suspended as a result of them making diss records about the teachers they hated and the principal. They called themselves Dynamic Direction. We crossed paths when a whack group made a mixtape dissing The Branch and Dynamic camps. We retaliated with our own diss (me featuring as a rep for The Branch) A week after the Cd came out, they found out that I had got “dropped” from my camp and went pretty hard recruiting me.

We eventually started trying to form a label together. We rented out halls and teen clubs to throw parties and perform at. After one of our last parties I came home ONLY to receive THE BIGGEST ASS WHOOPING of the decade…I mean, belts, fists, high heeled shoes and a coaxial cable (the one you use for cable television). What the hell did I do to deserve this type of embarrassment? Here I am, an 11th grade honors student, getting my ass dug in by my mother…report cards wasn’t even due to come out for another month or so and I KNOW I didn’t get a “C” this semester so WHAT THE BLOOD-CLOT SON!. Come to find out the SAT’s that I had signed up to take at the beginning of the year were being given the next day (well 4 hours away) and mom dukes was mad that I didn’t get proper sleep. Ain’t nothing like a good ass-whoopin to tuck you in huh?

My school is a 30 minute walk from home and the test was scheduled for 8:00am (the same time I woke up). After getting another ass-whoopin, I ran to the school and begged my way into the exam room. PHEW! I only missed one math section of the test…not too bad right? Well, it wouldn’t have been had I not fallen asleep during a reading section…I woke up with ten minutes left because the guy giving the instructions for every section became annoyed and threatened to throw me out if I started drifting. For inspiration, I thought about the impending child-abuse that would be waiting for me if I came home early after getting kicked out of the test and woke the phuck up.

A few months later my mom sat me down within arms reach and opened the results in front of me. I remember this like its yesterday…

Mom: Niggah you better be glad this came in the mail because I sho was about to tax yo black ass. I thought you went and hid this shit.

*she opens the envelope thingy*

Mom: Niggah you got a 1370! It aint no 1400 but it’ll do!

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaan! My butt cheeks un-tensed (lol) and I let out a DEEP breath of relief!

The way kids are supposed to be raised…aaah the good ole days…

This weekend was pretty productive. My chick and I salvaged our relationship. It wasn’t nothing toooo crazy we just had one of our frequent “moments.” I don’t really think that’s a problem to experience turbulence in our relationship because we’re both stubborn, opinionated and have dominant personalities when you get to know us. The only difference iiiis I’m an Arteest and she’s…well...not lol.

I made two beats and recorded vocals over one of them. AND to top it all off, I spent most of the weekend on Twitter! Man I love that place…Here’s a brief summary of my Fraturday:

So on Friday it was snowing TOO hard to go to school. Let me tell you how this is supposed to go. The Dean told the students that when NYC public schools have cancellations or get out early then the late afternoon and evening classes are cancelled. I got off of work thinking that I would get to go straight home and chill for the rest of the night until something told me to call my school. Why is this Negro telling people to come to school in the middle of a SNOW STORM! I thought about it real hard and came to the conclusion that it’s best if I stay home because my car is not in the most ideal condition for snow and ice travel and I’m not that experienced of a driver to be trying to tackle such a journey by myself. The next day I got into it with my chick all because that heifer called Miscommunication…We’re cool now so I’m just waiting until we both have some free time so we can have that goooooood make up sizzex! Wizzord to ma bizzond (you ever see that one episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force with Emcee Pee-pants? “I got a strizoke in my brizane!” lmaaaaaao)…I also made a beat and recorded for the first time in my room. I got mad rust to shake off but the beat is pretty sick. I was in my room chopping up this Beethoven symphony like *in Kanyes voice* “If I could catch the beat and slow doooown the tempo…”

On Sunday I woke up and went in on the producer tip. I made another beat that took FOREVER for me to get a reasonable mix. After all of that, I watched MY GIANTS CATCH REP ON THE CAROLINA PANTHERS! Ward ran down Julius Peppers-and-nem throats! And YEAH we were experiencing some problems the first two quarters but YOU KNOW WHAT??? We worked through that and got our 1000 flushes on! (I’, yelling a-la Funk Master Flex) SO YOU CAN TELL ANYBODY THAT’S PLANNING ON GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS IN THE NFC! THAT IT’S DIARREAH SEASON IN GIANTS STADIUM BECAUSE WE GOT THAT NUMBER ONE SEED LOCKED DIZZOWN AND THE HOME-FIELD ADVANTAGE GAME IS ON POINT GAME TIGHT BIATCH! GET YOUR WET-WIPES READY! COURTESY FLUSHES FOR ALL THIS YEAR! TONY-BALOGNA-ROMO, FUCK EM! MCNABB, FUCK EM! CLINTON PORTIS, FUCK EM! DEANGELO HALL, FUCK EM! WE RUN THIS ISH FROM GOAL POST TO GOAL POST SO FALL DA EFFE BACK! AND SOMEONE CALL UP THAT CHOCOLATE CHICK THAT STAY AT RBW AND TELL HER WE SELLING PRIDE OVER HERE TWO-FOR-FIVE BECAUSE I KNOW SHE HAD TO SWALLOW HERS EFFIN WITH THEM DAMN COWBOYS!

LET GOOOOO!

Ever seen the Nigger episode off of the Boondocks Series? Well this video is what it was based off of.



The following video is of this young cat keeping it gully in the streets lol!



"I just wanted to do hood-rat stuff with my friends..."

At first I thought it was funny that the journalist threw both of his shoes at bush but then I started to think...if the secret service was caught slippin to the point that he was able to remove both of his shoes AND have, not one, but TWO CLEAN shots at the president, then what exactly does that translate to when it comes to the president elect that has received THE MOST death threats in US history???

How a father-son masturbation lecture SHOULD be given lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWzOQTFwRBE